The Right Mental Attitude

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goals; nothing on earth can help a man with a wrong mental attitude.”

~ Thomas Jefferson

I was at a job seekers event not long ago and I met two people. There were many people there–over 150–and I bumped into one fellow after a breakout session and before the formal networking tables began. He was preparing to leave and I asked him which networking session he was going to, “Steve, are you going to the Professional table, the Executive table or the open networking table?” He told me he was going to leave, that these networking things don’t work, “No one ever has a contact for me. I’ve been out of work for five years, with a couple of contract jobs in between. And no one ever has a good contact for me.”

He went on to tell me that the economy sucks, life is terrible and he was just getting started telling me everything that was wrong with the world. I interrupted him and asked him if he realized that there are many ways to work a formal networking session. He could practice his elevator speech, offer connections and contacts to others or just meet someone new and follow up for coffee and more practice. Steve just didn’t want to hear that and I stepped back and offered him success in his job search. I’ll pass from documenting his response.

Earlier that day, I met Denise. I’ve known her for a number of years and she was at this event representing a Temp Services business in the area. She stopped me and asked a couple of questions about negotiating for a new opportunity she was considering. She loved the job and the people, but the salary was $5K less than she was currently making. We bounced a couple of options around and role played a little and she left to go networking to see who else she might meet.

Later that same day I was given a book on famous quotations and there was Thomas Jefferson pointing out the moral for me to learn that day. No matter how much you want to help, some people won’t change. It you find yourself in that situation, walk away–no, run away–and focus your time and energy on your goals. Surround yourself with people who possess the right mental attitude. As W. Clement Stone once said, “Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you become like them.”

How to build an Olympic Attitude

What can we learn from watching the Olympics? Especially if you’re a regular person without athletic talent, what do you share with Olympic athletes? You don't have to be an Olympian to have the same kind of attitude, but you do have to work hard, and believe:

Set goals regarding your performance

• Focus on what is doable first. Make phone calls to friends and other job seekers to build your confidence. Then make phone calls to new contacts using what you learned from your practice. Then schedule networking meeting to grow your network into your job.

Plan for the event (The Interview)

• Find triggers or common questions which will help you stay focused on your performance during the interview. Then rehearse and practice. Do what Olympic athletes do and visualize yourself going through the the interview.

Your performance does not define your self-worth  

• Separate your self-worth from your performance. Putting the two together puts enormous pressure on the event and and makes it difficult to do well. You are not your performance; you are always you regardless of the score at the end of the day.

Relive your Successes

• Use your success stories; visualize the events and achievements. Remember how you felt and thought. You have done fantastic things in your career. Refer back to your success stories often so that you relive the experience.

Dump your ego, you’re only human

• If not, you won't allow yourself to do things that make you look bad, and in the end, that avoidance will keep you from getting better. Human beings learn from mistakes by making changes--often little changes which lead to achievements.

Temporary disappointments are normal (Except for Cubs fans; then it’s not temporary)

• Nobody's perfect, stuff happens. Know that you will make mistakes and mess up the interview or meeting, but let them slide, and focus on the next one.

Laugh often and laugh out loud!

• When it gets hard... laugh. Dump the negative and find something to laugh about. As I always tell my clients and audiences: "If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!"

"How to build an Olympic Attitude" is inspired by Peter Haberl, United States Olympic Committee sports psychologist

Jobs, Transition, Stress... oh my!

In our Career Stimulus Program at Harper College we offer sessions on dealing with stress. Also through the college, WIA (The Workforce Investment Act) offers job seekers basic job skills training and they also offer training on dealing with stress during job transition. With all the stress in the world today more and more folks should avail themselves of the opportunity to attend stress reduction workshops.

Scientists, doctors and medical researchers tell us that stress is a killer. In the least severe cases, stress exacerbates conditions ranging from high blood pressure to gum disease. At a business level it adds to loss in productivity and quality. Stress on the job causes pressures resulting in all kinds of interpersonal issues. Stress may also have added to the problems between the President and the Speaker of the House over the President’s Jobs Speech after Labor Day. (Or that could have been nastiness and stupidity.)

Regardless of where you sit on the debate between the kickoff of the NFL season, televised Republican Presidential Debates and a Presidential Speech addressing the number one issue facing every working American, stress is a reality for every human being, especially those looking for their next job. It must be dealt with.  One would be hard pressed to list all the different manifestations of stress facing America’s unemployed. The BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics) reported for August that 9.1% or 14,000,000 people were unemployed in America. Of those, 6 million are considered long term unemployed (27+ weeks). This doesn’t count the 2.6 million people considered marginal or discouraged workers. That is almost 17 million people with stress, anxiety, and a host of emotional issues affecting our communities, cities, states and country.

Just to paint the picture even more pragmatically, there are countless millions of folks that have jobs, but are sitting on pins and needles in fear of losing those jobs. 0.4 million people became “involuntary part-time workers” due to economic reasons in August. Economic reasons are defined here as due to hours being cut or the inability for find full-time work. Stress in America is probably best experienced on the morning and afternoon commute throughout America. As I drive to work, I’m amazed that there aren’t thousands more accidents each and every day.

Enough of the realities, what can we do about it? Love and laugh more. Love your family more, focus on what they represent to you. Love yourself more; last week we talked about this. Change your self-talk. Change the way you think about yourself. How do you do  that? Laugh more, seriously... it is nearly impossible to laugh for 15 seconds and be stressed. In fact, the effects of 15 seconds of good ‘ol belly laughing will in fact last as long as an hour or more. How do you laugh? The easy way is humor, jokes and comedy. I love watching stand-up comedy. Ellen Degeneres cracks me up. Bill Cosby is a very funny fellow. The Daily Show or Jay Leno make people who can stay up that late laugh. Jokes.com and jokeoftheday.com are great Internet sites that make my friend Conor Cunneen laugh. He even recommends going to these sites just prior to a phone interview, “...it keeps a smile on your face, Tommy me lad,” he says to me.

So this post all comes down to this: “Squash Stress, Laugh!”

Take Nothing Personally in Job Search

In my professional career in software development, Lee Babbitt, my friend and mentor, once advised me that I needed to slow down and not to take things personally. I thought of Sonny and Michael Corleone in the first Godfather movie, “...it’s not personal, Sonny, it’s strictly business!” Many years later, when I began my professional career in career consulting, we were told in training, “Tell your clients that it’s not personal and don’t take things said or even things not said personally.”

I hear this from clients all the time. They had a great interview and the hiring manager said they would be making a decision by the end of the week, and now it’s ten days later and they still haven’t heard anything. They begin to doubt their experience and become fearful, saying thinks like, “I must have blown the interview.” or “Why are they doing this to me?”  Then a few days later they call the hiring manager or the HR Rep and find out that something unexpected happened and now they expect to start the next steps soon, or tomorrow.

Those times when the client missed the job opportunity and wasn’t chosen--when they learn that they didn’t get the job--they are crushed. They start going over the experience looking for something they did to “blow it” in the interview process. They must have done something wrong, or they think that the interviewer just didn’t like them from the start! Often neither is the case, they just picked someone else. The job seeker didn’t do anything wrong, nothing! But, this is hard for many job seekers to accept. It’s hard for them not to take it personally and start to move on to the next opportunity.

It makes sense. Being turned down for a job hurts... but to get past the hurt, think of it this way: Say you were out looking for new shoes and you find a pair that looks great. You ask the clerk for your size and they have a pair a half of a size smaller and a half of a size bigger, but not your exact size. You try on the shoes and they don’t fit, they don’t feel right. Would you buy them anyway? Or would you go to another store? Remember there are two outcomes to an interview...

The two outcomes to an interview are: Get the job offer or get a referral. If the shoes don’t fit it’s easy to ask the clerk if they could suggest another store that sells those shoes; then you could get them in your size. The job seeker can do the same thing in the interview process: ask if they know of anything else where they could use your skills and abilities. It’s professional, proactive and takes the focus off the negative. Often the interviewer will realize the job seeker would be great in an other department and they are happy to recommend you.

So refusing to take bad news personally help to keep you in a positive frame of mind and often find an equally good opportunity.

"Landing" a Job?

How important is a positive frame of reference? Can you get a promotion without a positive attitude? A positive attitude and a plan are two of the three elements you need to be successful in your career.

The other day I attended a keynote speech by Jonathan Salem Baskin who commented on the terminology: landing a job. He asked, “If landing means getting the job, then where were you before you got the job? Flying? Grounded?” Someone from the crowd called out, “Crashed.”  Everyone laughed.

Let’s think about it; you can land a job, a pilot lands a plane, a fisherman lands a fish, Neil Armstrong landed on the Moon. Where else can you land?

But Jonathan Salem Baskin’s question is what I want to reflect on this week. Before you’ve gotten the new job or promotion, are you flying or grounded? If you don’t get the job or promotion does that mean you crashed? Or... is it time to move on to the next opportunity.

You need to be flying... period! Grounded is not a choice that will get you that job or promotion. You might not be flying at 30,000 feet, maybe you’re flying just a few hundred feet of the ground, but you’re not grounded. You’re moving forward. You have to be moving toward your goal to achieve it....

Once you take off for your goal, you’re going to see a number of targets. Some targets might be your goal and you’ll need to check them out. Some won’t be your end goal, but may be short term goals on the way to your final goal. There is good news today; there are more and more targets on the horizon as the economy gets better. There are more people to help you hit your targets. These folks are your networking contacts.

Don’t think for a moment that your grounded. If you haven’t fueled up, get the tools you need for a successful flight. If you don’t know what you need for your flight, think about taking on a coach, someone who can be objective and give you the straight scoop so you don’t crash.

The third thing one needs to achieve success in their career...  consider a “product” that the target is looking for. We’ll talk about branding your “product” next time.

Dealing With Negative and Excuses...

A long time ago I realized that there are two types of people in the world. People who enter the room and it lights up... then there are the folks that leave the room and it lights up. I won’t ask you which kind of person you are, but ask yourself. Sometimes I meet with people who tell me that they’ve had interviews for jobs they were perfectly qualified for, but they didn’t get the job. Often they are the second type of person I mentioned.

My friend and colleague Nancy Wajler tells job seekers that three things influence the hiring decision. First, can you do the job? Second, are you motivated to do the job? Third, will you fit into the job? It’s true if you get the interview they already have an answer for the first point... Your resume shows that you can do the job; and they want to validate that in the interview. So, when you get an interview it really is about showing your motivation and your ability to fit in.

I don’t like working with negative people -- period! I don’t know anyone who says they do. As you interview you want to make a favorable impression. You need to be yourself and be prepared. You need to be as enthusiastic as a puppy dog when the door bell rings. You need to help the interviewer see you as the person who can do the job, work well in the team and help everyone be more successful.

If you’re the kind of person who makes it seem darker when you enter the room, you need to makes some changes or you’ll miss out on the opportunities to prove your worth and value in an interview. What changes? The most powerful change someone can make in this area is to stop making excuses. Take responsibility, apologize, and be quiet. Better yet, don’t be in the position where you’re tempted to make an excuse, identify the risks in your life and mitigate or resolve them... then you have no need to give an excuse.

Napoleon Hill

Another thing folks with a dark cloud around them need to do is stop being negative... pump in the positive. Listen to and Read positive, “self esteem building” materials. Zig Ziglar, Napoleon Hill, W. Clement Stone, Tony Robbins, Denis Waitley, Ken Blanchard, Spencer Johnson, Norman Vincent Peale and Earl Nightingale have all produced marvelous material. Plus there are dozens if not hundreds of newer devotees of building and having a positive mental attitude. At the Harper College’s Career Stimulus Program we will be starting a new regular program for members called Pump Up Your Job Search! in April. The goal of this program is to aid folks in leaving the dark cloud behind and moving into the light.

Be on fire about your career

The news this week  had a story of not one, but two couch fires in the Chicagoland area. Holy smokes, how much time does someone have to sit on the couch to get it to combust? I actually don’t know the cause of the fires in the stories, but I hope these fires did not cause any additional financial burden for anyone suffering from job loss.

Activity in the job search means that you are out and about, talking and networking with people. Actually the job seeker needs to be on fire about finding a job. Meaning, you need to have a passion about your career, the opportunities and the abilities you bring to the job market.

After a job seeker has many weeks of looking for work under her belt, she starts to lose the expectation that she’ll find a job soon. Doubt starts to insert itself into the job seeker’s consciousness. Doubt can lead to negative thoughts and negative self-talk which start to feed on themselves and the job seeker can soon lose hope of ever finding gainful employment.

Back in 2009 I told the story of being as enthusiastic as a puppy dog when the doorbell rings. <Link> Keeping a positive attitude isn’t easy especially in a job search that seems to go on and on. But, I believe that one of the things that allows doubts to grow into depression is inactivity. Being a couch potato is one of the best ways to kill a job search. Focused activity leads to proficiency of your job search skills,  which leads to more network meetings, which leads to interviews, which leads to job offers.

Note the terminology focused activity: what do I mean by “focused activity?” Not all activity is productive and sometimes can be distracting the job seeker from meeting job search goals.  So, activity for activity’s sake can be counter productive and even destructive. When your activity is focused, it clearly enables you to achieve a short-term or long-term goal... getting you that much closer to landing the job.  

Be on fire about your job search, passionate about your next job and the future you’ll have. Don’t, however, let you the couch suck you into killing your job search and burn up your dreams.

Choking in an interview, no way!!!

I heard a story on the news a couple of weeks ago and then found an article that further detailed the story. As I read the article I realized that this would work for people who get nervous before an interview.   In the article, the author cites “Students who are the biggest worrywarts before taking a test might calm their nerves -- and improve their results -- by writing about their fears for 10 minutes before the exam.”

I thought, I wonder if that will work for my clients who are having anxiety about an upcoming interview. I can see a hopeful job candidate sitting in his or her car ten minutes before going into the company’s building. Just writing down how they are feeling and putting the note paper away and walking into the interview with their head held high, smile on their face with a bounce in their step.  

If you are willing to give it a try and would like to comment on how it works for you, I’d be happy to hear about your experience and thoughts.

One of the things I advise my clients to do to relieve stress and anxiety before an interview is to review their success stories. I like how the brain works... our mind’s eye doesn’t distinguish between new experiences and remembered/relived events. If you are thinking about and reliving an event, positive or negative, you body chemistry will react the same way as it did when the event first occurred. Namely, your brain will release those same endorphins as it did when you actually experienced the events of your success the first time.

How does it work? I don’t know, I only know it does... think about a dream where you’re being chased by a monster of some kind. It’s a dream right? But when you wake up,  you’re sweating, your heart is pounding and you’re flush full of adrenaline. Your mind/body is responding as if you had just been chased by a real live monster. So, we can use this phenomenon in a more beneficial role, for example, calming ourselves before an interview.

Review, remember and relive the success story. Remember the people who were around you, remember the temperature of the room, remember the smell in the air and remember the feelings you had when your were recognised, praised or congratulated. You’re brain will release endorphins, your anxiety will lessen and you’ll be smiling, feeling confident, and you’ll be ready for the interview.

The Gift of GAB

An Irishman & motivational speaker

   I have this friend, Conor Cunneen. We have worked together and offered each other support as we transitioned into new careers from our corporate gigs. Conor is a great example of someone who looked at his “transferable skills” and re-invented himself. Check out this example of Conor’s re-invention: Click Here


   The gift of GAB talk is filled with points that might be of benefit for us. GAB is an acronym for Goals, Attitude and Behavior.


Goals, 
   After a termination from your job, the structure, deadlines and routine of the job is gone. The discipline from the job is missing and we need to replace it with our own personal accountability. A refresher in the basics of goal setting is often all you need to get back on the wagon, so to speak. See Goal Setting for Job Seekers


Attitude,
   Having a positive hopeful attitude with expectations of success is essential for people doing a job search. It's where the smile comes from which is the most powerful non-verbal humans have to offer the world.  With so much competition out there why have anything other than a positive attitude. Drop your “stinkin’ thinkin’” and stop making excuses and start moving toward your goals. As Conor states in his book SHEIFGAB, “The key question is, What do I want my attitude to be?”


Behavior, 
By putting goals and a new attitude together your behavior becomes directed and more active. There lies the path to success. Job search is work. That’s why Conor challenges everyone he hears say that they are “unemployed.” In stead, he says that you are, “NIGEP = non-income generating employed person.” This is the most important work you have to do and may be the most important work in your whole life. 

WARNING

   Remember the old adage, "If you don't have anything good to say..." As a job seeker, you cannot afford to pass negative thoughts, actions or energy... you don't know where it will land. Like a stray bullet that hits an innocent bystander, a negative comment can paste you with a reputation as a whiner and complainer, in short, a problem,  when you want the reputation of a problem solver.  Remember you can choose your attitude and you have control over what you do and say. Take control over the things you can take control over and see what happens. Like the fellow said, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t you can’t. Either way you’re right!”

Next week I’ll focus on developing and working from a job search plan. Good hunting. 

Would you hire yourself?

  I recently gave a talk where I posed the question which is the title of this blog entry. The question leads one to access what is unique about oneself. What are my strengths? What do I do which people would consider me an expert? Above and beyond this is the question; once I get noticed as the special and unique person I  am, how do I get a job offer? 

“There is a real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.”  

  Dr. Norman Vincent Peale makes a point that we should revisit on a regular basis and constantly remind ourselves. I've often said, all things being equal or near equal, the hiring manager will hire the person they like best. Among all the things that makes us most likable is enthusiasm. An enthusiastic person is most likely to make a more favorable impression than a pragmatist or a pessimist.

  There are other benefits to being enthusiastic too. Enthusiasm builds energy in us. When we are more enthusiastic we are more creative. We are quicker to see and seize on opportunities. However when we are filled with fear or feel defeated due to our job search it feels like we have no energy or joy. We're flat as a cold  pancake. This is the worst place to be when seeking a new job.

 
  So if you are feeling down, depressed and/or bored... You need to pump yourself up. One of the questions from that workshop was, "How do you stay positive when you've been over a year looking for a job?"

  The answer is a difficult one and really depends on the person asking the question. For some people who may be clinically depressed they need to see their doctor or a psychotherapist and seek professional assistance. Regardless of the treatment, medication or therapy or both, fixing this needs to be a priority. A successful job search is nearly impossible if you're suffering from depression. 

  If you're not suffering from depression there are other things you can do to pump yourself up. Read a good book, something spiritual or inspiring. Listen to professional speakers on tape or CD; people like Zig Ziggler, Denis Waitley, or Stedman Graham. Listen to positive radio or internet radio broadcasts. For example, Joe Takash of Victory Consulting does an internet broadcast for VoiceAmerica Business <link> or there is Joy Maguire-Dooley's radio show Job Talk on AM 1530 broadcast out of WJJG in Elmhurst, IL. 

  In order to be positive at a difficult time in your life, you have to put positive things into your brain by reading, watching and listening. Be around positive people and run away from negative people with "stinkin' thinking" attitudes. Stay away from the evening news; even NPR which has loads of positive stuff, still has stories that will bring you down when you need to be pumping yourself up.  

  Finally, exercise, a balanced diet and sleep are essential to good physical and mental health. If your body is out of wack you'll not deliver the message you want when meeting with people. If you are sleep deprived it's hard to be enthusiastic. If you're in physical pain you'll be distracted and miss opportunities to shine.

Favorable Impressions Interviewing

Three things to help create a favorable impression for a meeting or interview. 

      If you are interviewing, you can assume that three or more candidates are interviewing for the job opening. We can further assume that you all present relatively the same capability and skill set for the position.  If this is true, how are they going to chose the new hire? I suggest, if all things are basically equal, they are going to hire the candidate they like best. Think about it; your expertise and ability got you the interview, but how you fit into the team will get you the job offer. Simply stated if they like you best you'll most likely be offered the job.

    Favorable impressions are lasting impressions. Here is what you can do to create a more favorable impression in an interview or a networking meeting. Remember that the first five minutes are critical when first meeting someone. Consider these three areas:

• You communicate via body language
• Be yourself
• Don't take control 

Body Language: 
    Management consultant and keynote speaker, Joe Takash says that the most important thing you can do when you meet someone new is smile. A real, genuine smile makes it easy to like someone.  Your confidence is communicated most in your body language by smiling and making good eye contact. Joe goes on to tell his audiences that "SHE is the key" when you first meet someone. SHE stands for smile, handshake and eye contact. If in the first five seconds you accomplish a connection you've made a good first step. Plus, I believe that the more confident you feel the more comfortable they'll be with you.  

Be Yourself: 
    Psychologists call it being genuine; I say be yourself and you'll come across as real. In an interview situation people often feel nervous and anxious. I remind my clients to always be yourself; be prepared and you'll be more comfortable when meeting someone new. Being a little nervous is okay, it keeps you on your toes and gets the juices or endorphins going. When you are yourself and not pretending to be something you're not, you will communicate more calmly and clearly when responding to questions. As you speak to the interviewer use normal hand gestures and lean slightly forward showing that you are composed and confident. If the interviewer is nervous, and this is often the case, your demeanor can help them to relax which makes it easier to like you. However, no one likes a phony person, period! Don't be a fake, they may not know exactly what you're faking, but they'll feel something's not right and then you lose. 

Don't Take Control: 
    Think of the interviewer as your host and you are going to their house for the meeting/interview. Let them be in control. I've had clients say they wanted to show that they were a take charge kind of guy. Right, do that in the success stories you share with them, but let them drive the meeting or interview. Imagine being in the passenger side in a car that the interviewer is driving. You wouldn't reach over and take the steering wheel away from them! Don't do it in an interview either. Nothing turns someone off faster then feeling usurped from their meeting. Be a perfect guest. If they make an offer of hospitality take them up on it. For example, if they ask you if you'd like coffee, tea or water, accept the offer. Do it for two reasons: first, it's good manners to accept an offer of hospitality and second, you don't want to turn down their first offer in the interview process. 

  It is impossible to do over a first impression. And in an interview it's essential that your are liked and viewed as someone who will fit well into the team or department. In sales it is said that people buy from people they like and the same is true here. After all, job search is sales.

Custom Resumes vs. A "General" Resume

When it comes to resumes, your resume is a tool: it's marketing material. It is not designed to get you a job; it’s function is to layout your skills, abilities and experience in order to get you an interview.

You will hear that you need to customize your resume in order to get it seen by the hiring manager. This is a very compelling statement especially if you have applied to many job postings and received zero responses. You think, "It must be the resume that has failed to get anyone’s attention; therefore if you customize your resume you’ll get more interviews."

But what are the facts? For any posting an average company may receive 200 applications and as many as 500. Crain’s Chicago once reported:

The new Wal-Mart Stores Inc. location opening Friday in suburban Evergreen Park received a record 25,000 applications for 325 positions, the highest for any one location in the retailer’s history, a company official says.

So if this is true, will a customized resume fair any better than a good general resume? The competition is staggering. What will really make the difference is having a person on the inside of the company get your resume flagged and separated from the 200. This is where networking comes in.

I suggest that a single strong "general" resume used in concert with networking or drilling into a company will serve you better than customizing your resume for every job posting. What if a company is using an electronic tool to cut down the number of resumes. In this case does a customized resume help when no human set of eyes are going to review the resume?The software's selection criteria is based on key words which should already be in your "general" resume. If not then you can update your resume to include missing key words or experience.

Utilize a well written "general" resume containing the accomplishments, experience and appropriate key words will save you the time of customizing your resume for each posting, time that would better be put to use networking. Plus, with a dozen or more customized resumes you have the added issue of keeping track of who you sent which resume to.

Network with people working at companies and businesses that are in the position to recognize your skills and abilities. Spend that time with people that can see the value you represent as a future employee. When you realize that only about 20% of jobs are advertized in news papers, the Internet and with recruiters, customizing your resume for every application is a lot of work, time and effort for such low probability of your resume being selected and reviewed.

Transition Requires Structure

In his book Sheifgab the World, noted author and public speaker Conor Cunneen, through his alter ego Finbarr Kozlowski asks the question: When you find yourself in transition, what’s missing… what’s different for you during transition?

The easy answer is everything is different. I always counsel my clients to work from a calendar. “To plan your work and work your plan,” I tell them. I share with them specific examples of what needs to be included in the daily and weekly schedules. This includes an outline to use. I stress planning, scheduling and balancing the day/week.

Something that I cover, but can always stress more is the importance of sleep, diet and exercise. Namely, taking care of yourself – taking care of your body and your mind will have a positive effect on your psyche and your attitude. Actually, having a good attitude begins with taking care of yourself. To paraphrase Finbarr from Sheifgab the World… if a battery-powered toy runs 24/7, after a while what happens? How can you do an effective job search if you’re not recharging your batteries and taking care of yourself? Make it a priority as you structure your day; schedule taking care of yourself; write down exercise from 7 to 8 Monday, Wednesday and Friday on your calendar.

I recently had the opportunity and pleasure to listen to Stedman Graham, best selling author of You Can Make It Happen. His book outlines a 9-step success process. He highlighted the power of changing one’s thinking. He stated many times during the 90 minute presentation that reading is essential to change your thinking. He built on that saying that changing your thinking changes your feelings. Changing your feelings changes your habits. And then changing your habits changes your life. Structure time to read into your day. Reading books on personal, spiritual or professional growth give your mind more of what it craves. Books challenge us, confirm us and open new possibilities for us to investigate.

Mr. Cunneen and Mr. Graham are making a similar case about feeding yourself positive discourse and good behaviors every day. They definitely agree that this will have a positive impact on your job search not to mention your life.

Structuring your life to include time for rest, exercise, family, plus time spent with a good book is essential for a positive attitude and as a result a successful job search. 

Transition: What I am becoming? (part 2)

The transition process is a classic Birth – Death – Rebirth cycle (Stepping between worlds) where job loss is the death event. We see job loss as an end. I suggest to my clients that it is a loss and deserves time for grieving. Yet, what follows is the transition to the next thing, a rebirth. The time between is truly hard for people – we are not good at being between things. You’ve come from a state of: “What you were,” moving into a state of, “What you are going to be” This syndrome is not so uncommon. Normally you graduate from 8th grade and you’re going into 9th grade. Then bang! you’re a Freshman in High School and there is no looking back. I suggest that transition is like going from 8th to 9th grade without a three month summer break.

What makes transition such a scary thing? There is no time-line and the next step isn’t a guarantee. Someone may very well say "No" to you. Transition is full of rejection, where your ego can really take a beating.

Job and life transitions are not predictable. Of course you can plan and work the plan but there are far too many variables out of your control. People like things to be predictable, which is one of the reasons people stay in the same job year after year even when they have grown tired of the work… it’s safe and secure but it is also predictable.

I suggest looking at transition as a phase in life, call it: “Your Becoming Phase”… You’re no longer X and you’re not Y yet? You’re becoming – meaning… you’re free to ask yourself “What do I need to do to fit into the world?” Where do my strengths and interests fit best? If money wasn’t an issue what would I do to make the world a better place?

These are great topics to investigate and a coach can really help. In the third part of this discussion we will talk about the bigger questions that you can address in your becoming phase.

Transition: What I am becoming? (part 1)

My brother, a survivor of job loss, recently asked me if I had seen the movie "The Rookie" starring Dennis Quaid. I had and he reminded me of a point in the movie where the star realizes that sometimes you need to do what you were meant to do. What an insight. So often people are in careers because they simply ended up doing the job they do and not because they always wanted be a “fill in the blank.” (Clerk, doctor, engineer, Indian Chief, teacher)

Many of my clients reported this to me as we talked about their career. They share that they

really didn’t have a passion for the job but simply did it because it was the job they had. Often they felt trapped because they rose in the salary structure and couldn’t afford to change. But

now that the job is gone they now had the opportunity to ask the question: “What do I want to do?”

It’s a question of vocation: What was I meant to be? Sometimes, if I have nothing to loose, then I have everything to gain. “I cannot do this anymore so what can I do?" is the question many are faced with. I would ask my clients what they wanted to do when they were teenagers. What keeps us from focusing on the dreams we had as teenagers? The answers to that are as numerous as there are people being asked the question. What’s important to realize is that job transition is the perfect time to ask the question.

One of my heroes is Joseph Campbell, an authority and a life long student of myth and mythology. He once told an interviewer he believed that a success in life comes from following one’s bliss. Doing what you love or what you are best at will lead to success.

As children, we will do what we want, play with the toys we like and ignore the things we don’t enjoy. Then in adolescence things change and we feel like things we do are wrong or don't quite fit… no matter how hard we try to please people we feel inadequate. Somewhere along the way someone says to you… “Grow up, do what you need to do.” "Be an adult!" How sad... However, imagine what could happen if the child heard, “You need to do what makes you happy and makes the world a better place.” Today a person in transition needs to ask themselves, “What can you do to be happy and make the world a better place?” and if Campbell is right success will follow.

So if you find yourself in transition between jobs or another life transition, take a moment to think about what you wanted to be when you were a kid, what really makes you happy and what are your talents. We'll discuss this more in part two.