Transition: What I am becoming? (part 3)

We are talking about transition -- what I called the becoming phase. And remember, people like things to be predictable... so let’s start here.

Job and life transitions are not predictable and therefore stressful. One example, in 1999 a high tech worker looking for a new job found that job in a matter of weeks. In 2002 the time-line went from weeks to months and in many cases over a year. I’ve spoken to clients that said they never saw that coming. The economy shifts like an earthquake; one moment everything is fine, great and the next all hell breaks loose. Sadly, many of these same clients told me that they chose IT as a career because this was never supposed to have happened. Technology was a safe field. I went to work there because there was suppose to be job security. Yet, every industry has a similar story.

So instead of asking yourself what is a safe career, ask yourself, "What do I need to do that will bring happiness?" "Where do my strengths and interests fit best?" For people of faith this is the other kind of vocational question. "What is God calling me to do?" "What can give my life fuller meaning?"

I was talking to a friend who told me that she was a teacher because of the security and the predictable salary increases. She went on to say that she likes teaching but it isn’t not her passion. She knows she makes a difference in the lives of her students, but she does it because she needs to work to bring money into the household, nothing else.

I asked her a question, “What if the government decided to pay women for staying home and raising the best families possible; would you have passion for that?” It may be that, at least one reason she is a teacher is because it is the closest thing there is in the work world to her true passion, motherhood. What is God or the universe, calling you to do? What is your true passion?

Once you learn this answer you'll then have new energy. Notice I am not saying that it makes it easier. But, knowing what you are passionate about and going after a job or role that incorporates that passion will give you energy to do the job search.

Talk to someone about this. If you don't have a coach, get one and work with your coach to identify your strengths and talents and you will see where that takes you.

Transition: What I am becoming? (part 2)

The transition process is a classic Birth – Death – Rebirth cycle (Stepping between worlds) where job loss is the death event. We see job loss as an end. I suggest to my clients that it is a loss and deserves time for grieving. Yet, what follows is the transition to the next thing, a rebirth. The time between is truly hard for people – we are not good at being between things. You’ve come from a state of: “What you were,” moving into a state of, “What you are going to be” This syndrome is not so uncommon. Normally you graduate from 8th grade and you’re going into 9th grade. Then bang! you’re a Freshman in High School and there is no looking back. I suggest that transition is like going from 8th to 9th grade without a three month summer break.

What makes transition such a scary thing? There is no time-line and the next step isn’t a guarantee. Someone may very well say "No" to you. Transition is full of rejection, where your ego can really take a beating.

Job and life transitions are not predictable. Of course you can plan and work the plan but there are far too many variables out of your control. People like things to be predictable, which is one of the reasons people stay in the same job year after year even when they have grown tired of the work… it’s safe and secure but it is also predictable.

I suggest looking at transition as a phase in life, call it: “Your Becoming Phase”… You’re no longer X and you’re not Y yet? You’re becoming – meaning… you’re free to ask yourself “What do I need to do to fit into the world?” Where do my strengths and interests fit best? If money wasn’t an issue what would I do to make the world a better place?

These are great topics to investigate and a coach can really help. In the third part of this discussion we will talk about the bigger questions that you can address in your becoming phase.

Transition: What I am becoming? (part 1)

My brother, a survivor of job loss, recently asked me if I had seen the movie "The Rookie" starring Dennis Quaid. I had and he reminded me of a point in the movie where the star realizes that sometimes you need to do what you were meant to do. What an insight. So often people are in careers because they simply ended up doing the job they do and not because they always wanted be a “fill in the blank.” (Clerk, doctor, engineer, Indian Chief, teacher)

Many of my clients reported this to me as we talked about their career. They share that they

really didn’t have a passion for the job but simply did it because it was the job they had. Often they felt trapped because they rose in the salary structure and couldn’t afford to change. But

now that the job is gone they now had the opportunity to ask the question: “What do I want to do?”

It’s a question of vocation: What was I meant to be? Sometimes, if I have nothing to loose, then I have everything to gain. “I cannot do this anymore so what can I do?" is the question many are faced with. I would ask my clients what they wanted to do when they were teenagers. What keeps us from focusing on the dreams we had as teenagers? The answers to that are as numerous as there are people being asked the question. What’s important to realize is that job transition is the perfect time to ask the question.

One of my heroes is Joseph Campbell, an authority and a life long student of myth and mythology. He once told an interviewer he believed that a success in life comes from following one’s bliss. Doing what you love or what you are best at will lead to success.

As children, we will do what we want, play with the toys we like and ignore the things we don’t enjoy. Then in adolescence things change and we feel like things we do are wrong or don't quite fit… no matter how hard we try to please people we feel inadequate. Somewhere along the way someone says to you… “Grow up, do what you need to do.” "Be an adult!" How sad... However, imagine what could happen if the child heard, “You need to do what makes you happy and makes the world a better place.” Today a person in transition needs to ask themselves, “What can you do to be happy and make the world a better place?” and if Campbell is right success will follow.

So if you find yourself in transition between jobs or another life transition, take a moment to think about what you wanted to be when you were a kid, what really makes you happy and what are your talents. We'll discuss this more in part two.