I was speaking to a group of job seekers the other day and I offered them a prophetic statement that someday down the road they’d all have jobs and there would be no more unemployment and then I’d be out of work. There was loud discord from the group, a collective, “Yea, Right! What are you smoking?”
I understand the group’s reaction; the news about the economy is so dark and dismal, how could I express anything so silly as a world without unemployment? Even a rate of 4% is next to impossible to envision. Yet, there was one person back in the far corner said, “No, you’ll still have work; folks will need someone to help them grow in their career beyond their new job.”
This person had hope. There are people out there who realize that “Yes, we can” is more than a campaign slogan and that we live in a world were anything is possible, but, and this is a big but, nothing will happen without the expectation that it will happen. Having hope is having an expectation that something will change, something will be different, something will be better.
Often when we are suffering from some tragedy or trauma, like a mass layoff resulting in job loss, someone comes along an--whether out of ignorance or a total lack of tact--says something trite. “Buck up, Charlie, you’ll have a job in no time.” Or “Sorry to hear that you’re unemployed, I wish I could help but we’re not hiring at my company.” Recently a 45 year-old Electrical Engineer told me that after two months in job search someone said to him, “Hey, they’re hiring at the Seven-11.”
Folks going through job transition often report that after the first weeks of not having a job that they feel they’ve been tainted. People feel isolated, like they caught a communicable disease or something. Then when they’re feeling the pressure of the job search someone says, “Anyone who really wants a job can get one.” Or “Those people who have been unemployed for over a year are lazy...”
Corporate America is sitting on a bunch of money; some estimates go as high as a Trillion Dollars (that’s 1012 or $1,000,000,000,000.00). Companies across the country are running lean and mean and people with jobs report fatigue and frustration with the amount of work they have to do, and that the pressure is building. They report that the unemployment rate is as stressful on their lives as for those unemployed, maybe more. (My clients find this hard to believe.) But, the pressure is real and something has to give. Everyone is waiting for the shoe to drop.
Let’s have the hope, the expectation that companies will start hiring, slowly at first, then with greater urgency and gusto. Let’s have the expectation that consumers will begin to consume more and consume more wisely. Then, folks will then be able to pay off their debt and even start saving. And then, there will be no more unemployment and I’ll be working only with folks looking to grow in their career. Let’s have hope!
My client said to me, “You probably don’t what to hear this...” and then went on to say something negative. I told my client that it’s not about me; I don’t what my clients thinking anything negative like that. It amazes me the negative things we tell ourselves... the negative way we talk to ourselves.
We’d never say to a stranger the things we say to ourself. Think about it... Someone locks their keys in their car and what do they say verbally or silently, “God, I am so stupid, I’m such an idiot... I cannot believe the stupid things I do. I’m surprised I can even walk upright...” You’d never say that to a stranger. Can you imagine walking up to a little granny sitting on a park bench and saying those same things, “You are so stupid... you’re an idiot... I cannot believe all the stupid things you do...” In fact, next time you see a Brian Urlacher walk up to him and say, wait... never mind; but you see my point. You just wouldn’t talk that way, not to a grandma nor to a middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears.
Why do we talk so hurtfully to ourselves? Why do we offer acquaintances and strangers more words of encouragement than we do our own selves? Maybe the why isn’t as imperative to understand as the point that we should stop treating ourselves so badly and treat everyone, including ourselves as if they were your sweet dear ol’ grandmother.
We’re human and we make mistakes: give yourself a break. Why not say to yourself, “I’m getting better and better.” Or, “Today I’m better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow.” Why? Because it corny, hoaky, or because people don’t really talk that way. Why not? I think it’s about time we start telling ourselves nice things. Start lifting ourselves up and forgiving ourselves for little mistakes. The next time you make a mistake say to yourself, “Wow, I normally remember to take my keys out of the ignition before locking and closing the door. I’m probably trying to do too much, too fast. I’ll slow down and think more clearly.” Isn’t that a much better thing to hear than in insult to your intelligence?
Showing yourself a little love, by way of saying something nice to yourself isn’t all that crazy. When you think about it like that, it sounds like good idea. At first say these things silently to yourself and after some time saying nice, positive things try saying it out loud. Really, it works.
I had a habit of leaving one thing downstairs when I went to bed at night. I’d mutter to myself down the steps, then back up the steps. One night I let myself off the hook and laughed at myself and said positive things to myself as I retrieved the forgotten item. A few days later, I realized that I wasn’t forgetting things downstairs at bedtime. What do you think, maybe there is a connection there? Give it a try yourself. Show yourself some love. Plus, your job search will benefit from the positive self talk.
A long time ago I realized that there are two types of people in the world. People who enter the room and it lights up... then there are the folks that leave the room and it lights up. I won’t ask you which kind of person you are, but ask yourself. Sometimes I meet with people who tell me that they’ve had interviews for jobs they were perfectly qualified for, but they didn’t get the job. Often they are the second type of person I mentioned.
My friend and colleague Nancy Wajler tells job seekers that three things influence the hiring decision. First, can you do the job? Second, are you motivated to do the job? Third, will you fit into the job? It’s true if you get the interview they already have an answer for the first point... Your resume shows that you can do the job; and they want to validate that in the interview. So, when you get an interview it really is about showing your motivation and your ability to fit in.
I don’t like working with negative people -- period! I don’t know anyone who says they do. As you interview you want to make a favorable impression. You need to be yourself and be prepared. You need to be as enthusiastic as a puppy dog when the door bell rings. You need to help the interviewer see you as the person who can do the job, work well in the team and help everyone be more successful.
If you’re the kind of person who makes it seem darker when you enter the room, you need to makes some changes or you’ll miss out on the opportunities to prove your worth and value in an interview. What changes? The most powerful change someone can make in this area is to stop making excuses. Take responsibility, apologize, and be quiet. Better yet, don’t be in the position where you’re tempted to make an excuse, identify the risks in your life and mitigate or resolve them... then you have no need to give an excuse.
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| Napoleon Hill |
Another thing folks with a dark cloud around them need to do is stop being negative... pump in the positive. Listen to and Read positive, “self esteem building” materials. Zig Ziglar, Napoleon Hill, W. Clement Stone, Tony Robbins, Denis Waitley, Ken Blanchard, Spencer Johnson, Norman Vincent Peale and Earl Nightingale have all produced marvelous material. Plus there are dozens if not hundreds of newer devotees of building and having a positive mental attitude. At the Harper College’s Career Stimulus Program we will be starting a new regular program for members called Pump Up Your Job Search! in April. The goal of this program is to aid folks in leaving the dark cloud behind and moving into the light.
This person had hope. There are people out there who realize that “Yes, we can” is more than a campaign slogan and that we live in a world were anything is possible, but, and this is a big but, nothing will happen without the expectation that it will happen. Having hope is having an expectation that something will change, something will be different, something will be better. 
Folks going through job transition often report that after the first weeks of not having a job that they feel they’ve been tainted. People feel isolated, like they caught a communicable disease or something. Then when they’re feeling the pressure of the job search someone says, “Anyone who really wants a job can get one.” Or “Those people who have been unemployed for over a year are lazy...” 
Let’s have the hope, the expectation that companies will start hiring, slowly at first, then with greater urgency and gusto. Let’s have the expectation that consumers will begin to consume more and consume more wisely. Then, folks will then be able to pay off their debt and even start saving. And then, there will be no more unemployment and I’ll be working only with folks looking to grow in their career. Let’s have hope!
