How to build an Olympic Attitude

What can we learn from watching the Olympics? Especially if you’re a regular person without athletic talent, what do you share with Olympic athletes? You don't have to be an Olympian to have the same kind of attitude, but you do have to work hard, and believe:

Set goals regarding your performance

• Focus on what is doable first. Make phone calls to friends and other job seekers to build your confidence. Then make phone calls to new contacts using what you learned from your practice. Then schedule networking meeting to grow your network into your job.

Plan for the event (The Interview)

• Find triggers or common questions which will help you stay focused on your performance during the interview. Then rehearse and practice. Do what Olympic athletes do and visualize yourself going through the the interview.

Your performance does not define your self-worth  

• Separate your self-worth from your performance. Putting the two together puts enormous pressure on the event and and makes it difficult to do well. You are not your performance; you are always you regardless of the score at the end of the day.

Relive your Successes

• Use your success stories; visualize the events and achievements. Remember how you felt and thought. You have done fantastic things in your career. Refer back to your success stories often so that you relive the experience.

Dump your ego, you’re only human

• If not, you won't allow yourself to do things that make you look bad, and in the end, that avoidance will keep you from getting better. Human beings learn from mistakes by making changes--often little changes which lead to achievements.

Temporary disappointments are normal (Except for Cubs fans; then it’s not temporary)

• Nobody's perfect, stuff happens. Know that you will make mistakes and mess up the interview or meeting, but let them slide, and focus on the next one.

Laugh often and laugh out loud!

• When it gets hard... laugh. Dump the negative and find something to laugh about. As I always tell my clients and audiences: "If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!"

"How to build an Olympic Attitude" is inspired by Peter Haberl, United States Olympic Committee sports psychologist

Jobs, Transition, Stress... oh my!

In our Career Stimulus Program at Harper College we offer sessions on dealing with stress. Also through the college, WIA (The Workforce Investment Act) offers job seekers basic job skills training and they also offer training on dealing with stress during job transition. With all the stress in the world today more and more folks should avail themselves of the opportunity to attend stress reduction workshops.

Scientists, doctors and medical researchers tell us that stress is a killer. In the least severe cases, stress exacerbates conditions ranging from high blood pressure to gum disease. At a business level it adds to loss in productivity and quality. Stress on the job causes pressures resulting in all kinds of interpersonal issues. Stress may also have added to the problems between the President and the Speaker of the House over the President’s Jobs Speech after Labor Day. (Or that could have been nastiness and stupidity.)

Regardless of where you sit on the debate between the kickoff of the NFL season, televised Republican Presidential Debates and a Presidential Speech addressing the number one issue facing every working American, stress is a reality for every human being, especially those looking for their next job. It must be dealt with.  One would be hard pressed to list all the different manifestations of stress facing America’s unemployed. The BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics) reported for August that 9.1% or 14,000,000 people were unemployed in America. Of those, 6 million are considered long term unemployed (27+ weeks). This doesn’t count the 2.6 million people considered marginal or discouraged workers. That is almost 17 million people with stress, anxiety, and a host of emotional issues affecting our communities, cities, states and country.

Just to paint the picture even more pragmatically, there are countless millions of folks that have jobs, but are sitting on pins and needles in fear of losing those jobs. 0.4 million people became “involuntary part-time workers” due to economic reasons in August. Economic reasons are defined here as due to hours being cut or the inability for find full-time work. Stress in America is probably best experienced on the morning and afternoon commute throughout America. As I drive to work, I’m amazed that there aren’t thousands more accidents each and every day.

Enough of the realities, what can we do about it? Love and laugh more. Love your family more, focus on what they represent to you. Love yourself more; last week we talked about this. Change your self-talk. Change the way you think about yourself. How do you do  that? Laugh more, seriously... it is nearly impossible to laugh for 15 seconds and be stressed. In fact, the effects of 15 seconds of good ‘ol belly laughing will in fact last as long as an hour or more. How do you laugh? The easy way is humor, jokes and comedy. I love watching stand-up comedy. Ellen Degeneres cracks me up. Bill Cosby is a very funny fellow. The Daily Show or Jay Leno make people who can stay up that late laugh. Jokes.com and jokeoftheday.com are great Internet sites that make my friend Conor Cunneen laugh. He even recommends going to these sites just prior to a phone interview, “...it keeps a smile on your face, Tommy me lad,” he says to me.

So this post all comes down to this: “Squash Stress, Laugh!”

Loving Yourself Through Positive Self Talk

My client said to me, “You probably don’t what to hear this...” and then went on to say something negative. I told my client that it’s not about me; I don’t what my clients thinking anything negative like that. It amazes me the negative things we tell ourselves... the negative way we talk to ourselves.

We’d never say to a stranger the things we say to ourself. Think about it... Someone locks their keys in their car and what do they say verbally or silently, “God, I am so stupid, I’m such an idiot... I cannot believe the stupid things I do. I’m surprised I can even walk upright...”  You’d never say that to a stranger. Can you imagine walking up to a little granny sitting on a park bench and saying those same things, “You are so stupid... you’re an idiot... I cannot believe all the stupid things you do...”  In fact, next time you see a Brian Urlacher walk up to him and  say, wait... never mind; but you see my point. You just wouldn’t talk that way, not to a grandma nor to a middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears.

Why do we talk so hurtfully to ourselves? Why do we offer acquaintances and strangers more words of encouragement than we do our own selves? Maybe the why isn’t as imperative to understand as the point that we should stop treating ourselves so badly and treat everyone, including ourselves as if they were your sweet dear ol’ grandmother.

We’re human and we make mistakes: give yourself a break. Why not say to yourself, “I’m getting better and better.” Or, “Today I’m better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow.” Why? Because it corny, hoaky, or because people don’t really talk that way. Why not? I think it’s about time we start telling ourselves nice things. Start lifting ourselves up and forgiving ourselves for little mistakes. The next time you make a mistake say to yourself, “Wow, I normally remember to take my keys out of the ignition before locking and closing the door. I’m probably trying to do too much, too fast. I’ll slow down and think more clearly.” Isn’t that a much better thing to hear than in insult to your intelligence?

Showing yourself a little love, by way of saying something nice to yourself isn’t all that crazy. When you think about it like that, it sounds like good idea. At first say these things silently to yourself and after some time saying nice, positive things try saying it out loud. Really, it works.

I had a habit of leaving one thing downstairs when I went to bed at night. I’d mutter to myself down the steps, then back up the steps. One night I let myself off the hook and laughed at myself and said positive things to myself as I retrieved the forgotten item. A few days later, I realized that I wasn’t forgetting things downstairs at bedtime. What do you think, maybe there is a connection there? Give it a try yourself. Show yourself some love. Plus, your job search will benefit from the positive self talk.