Monday, October 25, 2010

A Play About You

This weekend I had the pleasure to be in the audience for the first ever Suburban Showcase. It was grand, altogether grand. One artist that performed there was a financial planner and poet, Lynn Torre. She presented several poems throughout the evening. Her last poem was "A Play About You" which presented the idea that we are the Writer, Director, Producer and star of our very own play. Our life!

Click to enlarge
Lynn's book of poetry Dance of the Leaf: Poetic reflections on life, love & soul will be out later this fall.

Our lives are a play of our making. We can take the opportunity to make changes in our lives as a director would a scene in a play. This could be called re-inventing yourself, taking a new direction in life or simply changing careers.

If you're in job transition you are at a point to evaluate your career and find that this is an opportunity to change careers. So you're the author of your life and career. You might not be in transition but at a decision point in your life, again you might want to challenge yourself as a director might push an actor to do better in your role.

Some people need to hire a director for their play. They hire a consultant, a career coach to offer direction in their professional life. They remain the Producer of their play and have hired a pro to help their actor create the best possible performance of their life. Hiring a coach/director can really make a difference in the play you're producing and starring in.

Realize that regardless of the economy and what's going on in the government, you have some say in how your life is to turn out. You are the Play-write, the Producer, the Director, and most of all the lead actor in your play.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Coach or a Therapist


Some people are afraid of going to a career consultant sometimes called a coach. I had a client once ask me what is the difference between a “transition coach” and a psychologist or therapist. I believe this is why some folks are afraid of using anyone in a counseling role, they are afraid to deal with past issues.

Here’s the biggest difference I know of between a career coach and a psychological therapist: the career consultant is focused on your behaviors and not your motivations. I was reminded of this recently when I was facilitating a transition support group. We were discussing the importance of networking and asking for help and advice in the job search. One of the group members said that they couldn’t ask a stranger for help or advice. Another group member asked why this was a difficulty. As the first member began to respond, I interrupted the conversation. I pointed out that in this venue “the why” was not the right question; that is, “why” is the realm of the psychotherapist. The right question is, what will it take for you to make the change in your behavior and ask for help and advice in your job search.

Now, I understand that many people have issues and traumas in their past and others were conditioned by the events of their life into who they are today. As a career consultant, I am focused on my clients current behavior and changes that will be more productive in their career growth. The past may influence the present--as Freud said, “The child is the father of the man”-- but people can change their behavior without in-depth psychoanalysis.

I see people every day that have big issues and problems and their career crisis or job loss has brought those issues to the foreground. In some of these cases, the folks I am talking to are suffering from depression, either acute or chronic and really need professional psychological help and I refer them to a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist for immediate help. The person in crisis needs to deal with the emotional problem first before continuing their job search.

Yet, many others have “issues” that don’t require medical or psychological attention. They need to adopt some new behaviors, change some bad habits and move on. That is were the coach is best suited to point out and direct the needed change. I point out things my client doesn’t see, help my client develop more skills and cheer on my client to overcome an obstacle and succeed. 

If you are struggling with your job search and it’s going on longer than you believe it should, call a career consultant, contact me. I’d be happy to work with you and aid you on your way to gainful employment.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Why is Asking for Help So Hard?


In my December 2009 blog, “The 80/20 Rule” I brought up the subject of networking and asking for help or advice from those we network with. I pointed to the fact that men are so unlikely to ask for help it has become a punchline of jokes. Some people say that the GPS became such a successful product for this reason and others point out that using a female voice for the GPS is just plain irony.

But it’s not just men; many women don’t like to ask for help anymore then most men. Back in March 2010 my blog “Asking for Help and Advice in Your Job Search” I wrote, “This is what I say to my clients who tell me that they are uncomfortable asking for help: "Get over it if you want a job. It's a numbers game and you'll need to ask a lot of people for their help and advice in order to meet the person that knows about your job."

Recently, I’ve meet a number of people that voice this same issue about asking for help. So I asked myself and others why is this so hard? Let’s first point out that this isn’t only a problem for people in job search; it really is an issue for most of us at every stage of our careers. In fact, even as students it’s hard for us to ask for assistance or help. Still, why?

Fear of rejection
Most commonly this seems a reason not to ask for someone’s help. Is this irrational? Normally I would have to admit that if you ask people for help or advice they give it freely, willingly, with joy. Yet, folks will say to me, “What if they say no?” Of course the response to that is, “What if they say yes!” if you don’t ask you’ll never learn what not being rejected feels like.

Feeling vulnerable
Now, it is true that if we are asking for help, we are admitting that we need help. We are not strong enough, smart enough, connected enough to do it ourself. If I have to ask for help, I tell myself, “I suck” or something equally demeaning. However the fact is that I have never met the 100% perfect, totally fulfilled, absolutely self-reliant human being. In fact, many of the people that we look up to in sports, business or the media have been found cheating, using drugs or covering up because they couldn’t admit that they weren’t perfect. We all feel vulnerable, so what!

Owing someone
Along with feeling vulnerable, people will say, “I don’t want to be beholden to someone else.” This really falls into the “I don’t want to feel vulnerable” camp. What if Great Britain said back in 1939 and 1940, we don’t want to be beholden to America so we’ll pass on Lend Lease. What if Google didn’t want to be beholden to a bunch of stock holders or if any company didn’t have public offerings of stock. Would a person whose house is on fire stop to consider whether or not owing the firefighters was worth making the call to 911? Pretty silly!

It’s Change
I’m not used to asking people for help. Once upon a time, you and I weren’t used to walking, talking, driving or going to work; that didn’t stop us then. That’s what being human is all about. It’s about change and growth, and becoming better. Getting help, assistance, direction made it possible for us to walk, drive and succeed at work. Asking for help now will drastically shorten your job search.

So asking for help is very human, very normal and appropriate. Asking for advise doesn’t make you appear weak or stupid. Asking for direction in your job search or any career choice is a great way to glean insights and wisdom and make a connection to another human being. So start asking for help and advice in your job search.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Phone Interviewing Can be Fun



My clients tell me that I’m nuts when I say that interviewing is a blast. They shake their head when I say that interviewing over the phone is easy. Yet, both of these statements can be true with the right attitude and a little practice. We always say, be yourself and be prepared and that’s the secret to enjoying the interview process. But interviewing over the phone does have its limitations.

When we look at a pie chart that breaks down how we communicate; 55% of human communication is through body language, 38% is vocal or tonal qualities and only 7% is conveyed by the words we use. So when you’re talking on the phone you’re short 55% of the total communication package. Therefore, you need to focus extra attention on your tone of voice and the words you use.

The first tip I offer my clients is to use a quality phone and a land line if possible. If you’re down to 45% of your communication capability, phone static and a poor connection may be a killer. The next tip is to smile, because a smile can be heard over the phone. Yes, I know that sounds silly, but all the experts say it’s true. Plus,  this is a grand way to help convey your enthusiasm for the job; if you’re not smiling you’re not going to come across as very enthusiastic over the phone or in person.

The next tip I offer is to stand up and look into a mirror when you’re talking on the phone. This way you have visual feedback and can make eye contact when your talking. It helps you stay focused on your message and to be clear and concise. If you don’t have a mirror, I advise talking to a picture of a loved one or someone you’d like to be a loved one. Nicole Kidman works for me but maybe George Clooney will work for others. This actually works and my clients who have used this tip report the whole phone interview process as less intimidating. Of course it is sometimes shocking on the other end of the phone when the interviewer gets called Nicole (or George when that isn’t their name); so don’t make that mistake.


All kidding aside, these tips work; however, if you fail to be yourself and be prepared you’re going to fall flat. You cannot fake an interview or be someone you’re not. So be honest in your responses and practice those responses. There is a finite number of questions that are asked in an interview, especially a phone interview. Hire a coach or read any one of a number of different books on interview questions. Write down your responses and then rehearse over and over. Practice at job club meetings and networking coffees.

I help people everyday feel more at ease when interviewing. These tips work and with practice and a little experience you too can feel confident and enthusiastic when interviewing over the phone... Good hunting!