My client said to me, “You probably don’t what to hear this...” and then went on to say something negative. I told my client that it’s not about me; I don’t what my clients thinking anything negative like that. It amazes me the negative things we tell ourselves... the negative way we talk to ourselves.
We’d never say to a stranger the things we say to ourself. Think about it... Someone locks their keys in their car and what do they say verbally or silently, “God, I am so stupid, I’m such an idiot... I cannot believe the stupid things I do. I’m surprised I can even walk upright...” You’d never say that to a stranger. Can you imagine walking up to a little granny sitting on a park bench and saying those same things, “You are so stupid... you’re an idiot... I cannot believe all the stupid things you do...” In fact, next time you see a Brian Urlacher walk up to him and say, wait... never mind; but you see my point. You just wouldn’t talk that way, not to a grandma nor to a middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears.
Why do we talk so hurtfully to ourselves? Why do we offer acquaintances and strangers more words of encouragement than we do our own selves? Maybe the why isn’t as imperative to understand as the point that we should stop treating ourselves so badly and treat everyone, including ourselves as if they were your sweet dear ol’ grandmother.
We’re human and we make mistakes: give yourself a break. Why not say to yourself, “I’m getting better and better.” Or, “Today I’m better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow.” Why? Because it corny, hoaky, or because people don’t really talk that way. Why not? I think it’s about time we start telling ourselves nice things. Start lifting ourselves up and forgiving ourselves for little mistakes. The next time you make a mistake say to yourself, “Wow, I normally remember to take my keys out of the ignition before locking and closing the door. I’m probably trying to do too much, too fast. I’ll slow down and think more clearly.” Isn’t that a much better thing to hear than in insult to your intelligence?
Showing yourself a little love, by way of saying something nice to yourself isn’t all that crazy. When you think about it like that, it sounds like good idea. At first say these things silently to yourself and after some time saying nice, positive things try saying it out loud. Really, it works.
I had a habit of leaving one thing downstairs when I went to bed at night. I’d mutter to myself down the steps, then back up the steps. One night I let myself off the hook and laughed at myself and said positive things to myself as I retrieved the forgotten item. A few days later, I realized that I wasn’t forgetting things downstairs at bedtime. What do you think, maybe there is a connection there? Give it a try yourself. Show yourself some love. Plus, your job search will benefit from the positive self talk.
We’d never say to a stranger the things we say to ourself. Think about it... Someone locks their keys in their car and what do they say verbally or silently, “God, I am so stupid, I’m such an idiot... I cannot believe the stupid things I do. I’m surprised I can even walk upright...” You’d never say that to a stranger. Can you imagine walking up to a little granny sitting on a park bench and saying those same things, “You are so stupid... you’re an idiot... I cannot believe all the stupid things you do...” In fact, next time you see a Brian Urlacher walk up to him and say, wait... never mind; but you see my point. You just wouldn’t talk that way, not to a grandma nor to a middle linebacker for the Chicago Bears.
Why do we talk so hurtfully to ourselves? Why do we offer acquaintances and strangers more words of encouragement than we do our own selves? Maybe the why isn’t as imperative to understand as the point that we should stop treating ourselves so badly and treat everyone, including ourselves as if they were your sweet dear ol’ grandmother.
We’re human and we make mistakes: give yourself a break. Why not say to yourself, “I’m getting better and better.” Or, “Today I’m better than I was yesterday, but not as good as I will be tomorrow.” Why? Because it corny, hoaky, or because people don’t really talk that way. Why not? I think it’s about time we start telling ourselves nice things. Start lifting ourselves up and forgiving ourselves for little mistakes. The next time you make a mistake say to yourself, “Wow, I normally remember to take my keys out of the ignition before locking and closing the door. I’m probably trying to do too much, too fast. I’ll slow down and think more clearly.” Isn’t that a much better thing to hear than in insult to your intelligence?
I had a habit of leaving one thing downstairs when I went to bed at night. I’d mutter to myself down the steps, then back up the steps. One night I let myself off the hook and laughed at myself and said positive things to myself as I retrieved the forgotten item. A few days later, I realized that I wasn’t forgetting things downstairs at bedtime. What do you think, maybe there is a connection there? Give it a try yourself. Show yourself some love. Plus, your job search will benefit from the positive self talk.
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