"Why Me?" Just isn't Important in Getting a Job

There seems to be a common frame of mind in my clients who are going through a prolonged time in transition between jobs. If fact, this actually affects the vast majority of people going through any kind of transition from being let go from a job to retirement.

Over and over people in transition find them selves stuck and growing depressed because they have lost confidence in their ability to achieve a goal. Whether it is finding the next job or learning new role in life, their confidence is shaken and their thinking becomes filled with doubts.

Face it, transitions are difficult. If you were let go from a job, the natural question is, "Why me?" Many of my clients would tell me that they couldn’t understand why they got canned when someone else is still there. I can think of a story from one person who brought in and closed a $4.5 million deal and a week and a half later got the ax. In another client’s story their whole group was released while there was all this work that remained to be done. It doesn't make sense to the person in transition.

It is common for humans to see the world in terms of ourselves. Why me? Add to this the condition that self doubt is a natural element in transition or any kind of change. This becomes a problem when self doubt becomes stagnation especially when coupled with depression.

The sad truth is that most people are laid off for reasons they’ll never know. They lost their job because there number was picked or they were in a department that was believed to be expendable. After talking to thousands of people over the years, I come to the conclusion that nothing you did or could have done would have changed the outcome. Often a person can cite a series of corporate decisions that led cutbacks and layoffs. "Why me," if it was someone else's fault.

I have often told my clients that they were probably right, but that doesn’t matter… it’s in the past and you need to focus on the future. Do not focus on what happened, but focus on what you are going to do to be successful in your transition. Simply, "Why me" thinking leads to anger and/or depression. This leads to all kinds of negative behaviors which will negatively impact your job search.

Dropping "Why me" from your thinking will make a difference. Be positive and let go of the negative thinking that will hold you back. Do the things that will help you have a positive frame of mind which people will see and take note. Focus on your goal and leave the past behind.