The military call it R&R (Rest and Retraining or Relaxation) and others call it time off. In England they call it going on holiday and here we say going on vacation. Steven Covey in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People poses the question, how many people lie on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time in the office?
We need to recharge our batteries and refill our gas tanks from time to time or we won’t have anything to give to others or to the job. It’s important to take care of ourselves especially when we are doing stressful work. And job search can be extremely stressful. It makes sense to take care of yourself, don’t overdo it. Work effectively and take time to relax and rejuvenate.
Saying that, coaches and consultants need to recharge their batteries too. So I’m going to take my own advice and I’ll be on vacation this week. Have a great week.
I live in Chicagoland and those of us who have basements, have spiders. I have a spider in my office who has spun a web that is in the wrong place. It’s down around the floor; it is too low to catch flies and too high for catching the little creeping bugs. My spider buddy just hasn’t learned the first lesson in Real Estate... Location is everything.
I’ve watched this spider over the last few days and I am beginning to worry about him. I fear he may be starving to death. So I told him, “You need to move your web to a better location, so that you can catch some food.” And like some of my clients, he ignored my sage advice.
I figured that it must be the way that I delivered my message... “Listen spider,” I said, “you need to either move your web higher or lower. Otherwise you’ll never achieve your goal of catching a juicy insect.” I figured if I used some imagery to better get his attention, he would make the change. I also thought that pointing out that he could better meet his goals would give my message some impact. And this time, I was more specific about what he needed to do, plus, the focus was on the benefit rather than a negative possible outcome.
Alas, the spider didn’t move his web which remains empty as I write this. I think that I’ve figured the problem between me and the spider... since he isn’t paying for my wise counsel, he doesn’t realize the value he is receiving. (BTW, I only refer to the spider as a he because it’s one less keystroke. I have it on good authority that female spiders aren’t any better at accepting feedback than male spiders.)
Networking, talking to people, is mostly about getting out there. People tell me that networking doesn’t work for them. Whether you’re in business for yourself, or looking for a new job, you will catch more leads by talking to more people. That means going out to where people are... Business After Hours Events, Conferences, Lectures or Presentations all have people attending them. In fact, Weddings and even Funerals are good places to meet people too. (Remember that timing and tact are especially important at these types of events.)
So, don’t be like my little friend, move you web to where there are people to talk to and connect with. Go to new and different places and you’ll soon be increasing the names on your contact list. Then you’ll be telling folks how well networking is working for you.
Social Media Etiquette: When sending invitations in social networking add a personal message. Someone wise once said that if you were at a conference you wouldn’t go around handing out your business card without talking to the people. Sending a personal note with the invitation is like talking to people when you pass out your card.
I get all kinds of invitations to connect with folks. Mostly, I’m an open networker, so I accept most everyone’s invitation. However, I know many open networkers who will ignore an invitation to connect if there isn’t a personalized note attached with the invitation. Just the default message is often considered bad form.
For me, I like to know how I can help the person I am networking with. So if we’ve not met face to face, or even when we have, I’ll ask for a meeting to get to know them better. Networking is all about relationships and relationships commonly occur through utility. What I mean is this; going back in history to ancient Greece and Aristotle it was understood that friendships often began as two people worked together on a project of some kind.
Getting to know one another is in part getting to know what the other person is good at and what they are not and how you can be of service to each other. When I “network” with people it’s often about how I can help them and/or can I introduce them to someone who can assist or help them. Social Media is a bonanza for helping people connect and keep track of their connections. It helps networkers network better. I appreciate the updates I see about my connections through LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook. I can drop a quick note to say hi, congratulations or ask what’s up. Easy and quick, and it reminds folks that I’m out in the world especially when I’m not just next door.
I read an article recently that argued against the comment many people make that they aren’t any good at networking. Social networking and networking share this in common, people say they aren’t any good at it. In fact, most people would be fine with social networking if they just applied simple etiquette. Saying “Hi” and “Thank you” and taking a second to acknowledge someone with a smile or status update. Smiles work great in face to face networking and a smiley can makes a person’s day as well.
Another great tip is to give before you receive. Social networking utilizes the trust economy. Asking for help via a social network like LinkedIn or Facebook, but if you’re always taking and never giving people will see that and identify you as a user and not a giver. Answering people’s questions on LinkedIn is a great way to increase your presence in your network. (Remember these are the people you’re connected to and the groups you are part of.) And if your answers are good, you’ll rise in people’s esteem and they’ll remember you.
I hear it all the time and sadly, I catch myself saying, “I hate that!” I’m constantly telling my clients that they have to get rid of their Sinkin’ Thinkin’ and stay positive in their thoughts and behavior. However, I’ll be working on my computer and then a challenge security word pops up and I think or say, “I hate that!” Other times, when I’m just finishing a blog posting for the week, ready to send it off to your editor and my computer crashes with the “blue screen of death,” I’ll say, “Oh, I hate that!” Okay, that might be the one exception: if you get the blue screen of death it is bad and probably deserves a strong emotional statement.
“I really hate that,” is a strong, very strong statement. And in most cases probably too strong. If you hit your thumb with a hammer, Ouch! jumps to mind as an appropriate exclamation. A streak of profanities isn’t. When you are challenged with a security word saying, “This is annoying,” is very appropriate... telling yourself you hate it is just creating negative on top of negative. It’s not helping you.
For those of you that cannot picture a challenge word, this is the pop up window that asks you to type the words, often illegible, into the smaller box. Why on God’s green earth would anyone be so cruel as to devise such a frustrating and exasperating step to logging into a computer site? All you want to do is reply to someone’s comment from your LinkedIn account and you click on the hyperlink and up pops this nuisance.
In actuality these challenge words are a good thing. They interrupt a computer attack from hacking your account. So when you say you hate the challenge words, do you mean to say that you really want your account hacked? Hummm! Plus, it is also a means to digitize older books in the public domain for free eBook access.
The point here is that we’ve adopted all these negative, sarcastic and pejorative phrases and we say them without thinking what we’re really saying. Our friends in Neuro-Linguistics will tell us that these words do in fact have an effect on our thinking and emotions. We become negative without even realizing it. So give yourself a break and listen to what you’re saying and put a positive spin on your expletives. “Golly, I didn’t mean to hit my now throbbing thumb with that hammer!” or “Oh look, one of those wiggly words that make the world wide web safe for me to surf!”
