Stress During Job Search

Some people think that it is merely semantics using the words “Job Transition” as opposed to “Unemployed.”  It is true, however, that there is psychological negative effect that comes with the word “unemployed,” that makes it more than semantics. When a person loses a job, they lose all the aspects of the job and the circumstances associated with the job also changes. Schedules, deadlines, priorities, motivations and purpose all go away or shift. This causes stress in the person and the family--in fact everyone associated with the person who lost their job. Therefore, let’s call the number one stressor from losing a job, “Loss of Structure or Schedule.”

The second and no less of a stressor in the life of a person without a job is, “Loss of Income.” This creates all kinds of fallout from, “How are we going to pay the bills?” to “If I don’t have enough cash to put gas in the car, how will I ever find a job?” Credit Card debt goes up causing more stress and anxiety. Decisions of which bills to pay, “Should I pay the mortgage or buy groceries?” forces some folks to ignore important things because they cannot deal with the stress of not having enough money. This leads to problems growing and not going away until it becomes a legal problem... bankruptcy and home foreclosures are on the rise or at all time highs.

Third in the list of stressors that job seekers must deal with is the “Disruption of the Family.” An amazing statistic we are seeing today is the number of divorces after retirement. I don’t even want to contemplate the number of damaged marriages that have resulted from job loss due to the economy.  Children in school experiencing stress in their family due to job loss find their grades falling or start acting out with negative behavior.  

Today, more than any other time in history we are under attack by stressful things. Not since native peoples struggled against the elements and wild predators have human beings felt the kind of stress we feel today. So the first thing we need to do is see and understand that we are stressed. Then to seek ways to overcome or at least reduce the stress we are under. Communication is a great stress release. Counseling, through your church or a mental health professional, will offer greater relief. Finally, don’t hide your problems, let people know that you are looking for work and you’ll find they don’t think badly of you and in fact may know of something that will lead to a new opportunity.

How to build an Olympic Attitude

What can we learn from watching the Olympics? Especially if you’re a regular person without athletic talent, what do you share with Olympic athletes? You don't have to be an Olympian to have the same kind of attitude, but you do have to work hard, and believe:

Set goals regarding your performance

• Focus on what is doable first. Make phone calls to friends and other job seekers to build your confidence. Then make phone calls to new contacts using what you learned from your practice. Then schedule networking meeting to grow your network into your job.

Plan for the event (The Interview)

• Find triggers or common questions which will help you stay focused on your performance during the interview. Then rehearse and practice. Do what Olympic athletes do and visualize yourself going through the the interview.

Your performance does not define your self-worth  

• Separate your self-worth from your performance. Putting the two together puts enormous pressure on the event and and makes it difficult to do well. You are not your performance; you are always you regardless of the score at the end of the day.

Relive your Successes

• Use your success stories; visualize the events and achievements. Remember how you felt and thought. You have done fantastic things in your career. Refer back to your success stories often so that you relive the experience.

Dump your ego, you’re only human

• If not, you won't allow yourself to do things that make you look bad, and in the end, that avoidance will keep you from getting better. Human beings learn from mistakes by making changes--often little changes which lead to achievements.

Temporary disappointments are normal (Except for Cubs fans; then it’s not temporary)

• Nobody's perfect, stuff happens. Know that you will make mistakes and mess up the interview or meeting, but let them slide, and focus on the next one.

Laugh often and laugh out loud!

• When it gets hard... laugh. Dump the negative and find something to laugh about. As I always tell my clients and audiences: "If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!"

"How to build an Olympic Attitude" is inspired by Peter Haberl, United States Olympic Committee sports psychologist

Let's Go to MAUI to Land a Job

A common question in an interview is: “Are you willing to relocate?” What’s the right answer? Say, “I’d consider it.” Then once you have a job offer, you have a choice to relocate or turn the job down. I told this to one client, Mark who was really struggling to get more than a series of temp jobs of three to six months. All along he told me he wouldn’t relocate and I kept telling him to say, “I’d consider it,” which he did. That was when the offer came in for a temp to perm position in Maui, Hawaii. For the right offer, we might all relocate, even to a hell hole like Maui.

So how did Mark get to Maui? Actually, Mark made Maui part of his job search. Yes, that’s right, Mark employed, Momentum, Activity, Urgency and Intensity in his job search. Job seekers like Mark have all kinds of obstacles in front of them. Some are so daunting that they start to feel that there is no job out there for them. In Mark’s case his industry had taken a real hit and there just wasn’t enough jobs to go around regardless of how good he was in his profession.

Momentum: The job seeker has to start to do the things job seekers do, every day with consistency. Always improving in the job search skills and continually moving forward with the expectation that something is going to pop just around the corner. Like a snowball going down hill there is a point when nothing will stop it.

Activity: The job seeker needs to do the right things and that activity will dictate their outcome. I’m not talking about activity for activity's sake. For example, going to a job seekers’ networking group once a week is a good activity, going every day isn’t the best use of the job seeker’s time. However, going to 10 different professional and industry networking events in a month will most likely produce the most effective connections. Mark became highly effective in his job search activity.

Urgency: The momentum and effective activity becomes even stronger when a sense of urgency is added to the mix. When goals are made, with dates attached, and then told to those who can help, the goals take on an expectation for completion; a sense of urgency. Often things linger in the background ⚊ nothing moving forward and then someone says it has to be done now... and all of a sudden, it gets done. If you doubt this, ask any tax accountant if there is a difference in getting necessary paperwork and receipts from clients in February as opposed to April.

Intensity: Many job search professionals agree that intensity is the critical element in a productive job search. With momentum, activity and urgency as part of the job search it takes on an intensity of its own. It cannot be denied. This intensity with a positive attitude is a force to be reckoned with. Even if the job seeker stumbles, she is still moving forward, creating her own luck, often turning a negative into a positive.

So let’s go to Maui and employ momentum, effective activity, a sense of urgency with intensity and see what happens.

Networking around the Grille

This is probably my 16th posting on networking since I started blogging. Why? Because it’s very important. So, it’s summertime; people are barbequing in the back yard, picnicking and Networking!!! Let’s look at networking again this time... networking at parties, cookouts and picnics.

   Remember the old Nat King Cole song, Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer... but summer is no time to be lazy when you’re looking for a promotion or a new job. It’s really a great time to connect with new people in a pleasant atmosphere. People are feeling good, having a beverage to drink and some good comfort food.

   It’s a great time to connect, but!!! Yes, what do you say to folks? (Well I’m going out on a limb here, against stuff a lot of people before me have told you.) What do you say, not your elevator speech. Yes, you’ve read that correctly. My friend and management guru Joe Takash is quoted as saying:

   Most 'elevator speeches' make the listener want to take the stairs. If you struggle, (which most of us do), in swiftly describing what you do and the value you provide, practice and get feedback.

    Take the pressure off yourself and go the the party, picnic or cookout to have fun. Instead of looking for opportunities to give your elevator speech, look for opportunities to say hi. I like to hang out near the drink cooler or keg. “Hi, can I buy you a beer? By the way, I’m Thomas, here you go.” (I only offer beer or wine to persons over 21 years of age with appropriate identification.) It’s a great way to meet everyone at a party. And by introducing myself, people tend to introduce themselves.

   At many cookouts the “guys” hang around the grill. It’s a guy thing. My wife says that the only reason why men will cook food on a grill is because there is an element of danger. That may be true, or it may be because our ancient ancestors cooked their fresh kills over an open fire and it is in our DNA and it just feels right. Regardless, it’s a safe place to hangout and listen and talk to the fellas.

   At those parties, the ladies congregate with one another over a number of different activities. Sadly, I really don’t have any idea what the women are doing, because I’m a guy and I’m hanging out near the dangerous Weber Grill. But, this is also a great place to say hi, meet new people and connect. It’s been reported to me that women are far more likely to talk and share than men do and I pretty much believe that to be true.

   It doesn’t matter which group you are in, just meet new people and then connect with them. Ask if they are on LinkedIn or Facebook or Pinterest or Google+ or any social media. Then follow up, invite them to join your network, friends, follow your pins or join your circles. Then follow up again and invite them for coffee and there you can share your elevator speech.