What's in a Name

How important is your identity to you? What we call ourselves is very much part of who we are. What others call us conveys a lot of meaning. Imagine the confusion that you would create if you stopped using the commonly accepted names for thing you encounter during a day. You might say things like:

• At the dinner table... "Please pass me the elephant." When you want the salt.
• Driving... "Vote left at the next light." When you're giving directions to the driver.
• During a bank robbery... "Give me all your apples and no one will get hurt."

This is a little silly, but it points out the connection the words we use and the names we call things have in communicating. So listen to other peoples names. Our names are important to us. If someone tells you their name, listen carefully and repeat it back to them. You can say, "Hello, Syed, it's very nice to meet you." This will aid in your remembering.

Now some people are very good remembering names, and some are not. I am a face person so I have to work at remembering names. Often I'll forget the person's name two minutes into the conversation. In those events I ask the person to remind me of their name before we part. "It was a pleasure meeting you, could you remind me, what was your name again?" And almost always this brings a smile to their face as they tell me, "Bob Stevens or Wia Capstone or Barak Obama." It's flattering that you want to remember their name.

Finally, listen to how they say their name. For example, if they say their name is Phillip, Patricia, Jorge or Kathryn; don't call them Phil, Pat, George or Kathy. You can even ask, "Well hello Phillip, do you prefer Phillip?" This is a great way to write their name into your memory. In a former career when I was purchasing key items for my company, I was surprised how many sales people would call me Tom, ten seconds after I introduced myself as Thomas. I didn't take offence but I did take note of their attention to the details.

So the next time you're at a networking event try this out. Listen to people's names and see how well they listen to yours.