I live in Chicagoland and those of us who have basements, have spiders. I have a spider in my office who has spun a web that is in the wrong place. It’s down around the floor; it is too low to catch flies and too high for catching the little creeping bugs. My spider buddy just hasn’t learned the first lesson in Real Estate... Location is everything.
I’ve watched this spider over the last few days and I am beginning to worry about him. I fear he may be starving to death. So I told him, “You need to move your web to a better location, so that you can catch some food.” And like some of my clients, he ignored my sage advice.
I figured that it must be the way that I delivered my message... “Listen spider,” I said, “you need to either move your web higher or lower. Otherwise you’ll never achieve your goal of catching a juicy insect.” I figured if I used some imagery to better get his attention, he would make the change. I also thought that pointing out that he could better meet his goals would give my message some impact. And this time, I was more specific about what he needed to do, plus, the focus was on the benefit rather than a negative possible outcome.
Alas, the spider didn’t move his web which remains empty as I write this. I think that I’ve figured the problem between me and the spider... since he isn’t paying for my wise counsel, he doesn’t realize the value he is receiving. (BTW, I only refer to the spider as a he because it’s one less keystroke. I have it on good authority that female spiders aren’t any better at accepting feedback than male spiders.)
Networking, talking to people, is mostly about getting out there. People tell me that networking doesn’t work for them. Whether you’re in business for yourself, or looking for a new job, you will catch more leads by talking to more people. That means going out to where people are... Business After Hours Events, Conferences, Lectures or Presentations all have people attending them. In fact, Weddings and even Funerals are good places to meet people too. (Remember that timing and tact are especially important at these types of events.)
So, don’t be like my little friend, move you web to where there are people to talk to and connect with. Go to new and different places and you’ll soon be increasing the names on your contact list. Then you’ll be telling folks how well networking is working for you.
Have you ever been on a long flight sitting next to a person who talks too much? I mean a real Chatty Cathy or a Talky Terry. (This always happens when you’ve brought some work to do that’s due ten minutes after your flight is scheduled to land.) At first it’s nice talking to the person, after some time your neck starts to hurt from turning toward them. Later, your mind starts to wander and you start to wonder if there are any air marshals on the flight...
People who talk too much can lose opportunities to make networking contacts. Networking always begins with a hello and a smile. And often in a first meeting there is an exchange of names and business cards or contact information. Hopefully there is a connection that is made and a seed of a relationship is planted. It’s important to realize that this is a lot to accomplish in a first meeting. Sadly folks often try to push too much into these first meetings and then they wonder why the other person doesn’t follow up afterwords.
This happens a lot in interviews, too. A candidate has an interview and talks too much, but doesn’t realize it. As a result they don’t land a job that “they are perfect for!” In my practice, I’ll conduct a mock interview with a client and they’ll talk my leg off with answers that stretch on for 5 or more minutes. Sometimes they answer the question succinctly, then as the interviewer starts to jot a note they start talking again; interrupting the interviewer‘s train of thought. In the end their wonderful response is lost in the minutia of their droning on and on.
Be mindful of people’s body language and facial cues when you are talking to them. Are they getting your point... are they falling asleep, with drool dripping down their cheek? If we consider the average length of a television commercial we have some idea of the average person’s attention span. I teach my clients that they should shoot for responses of 30 seconds or so. This allows dialogue and not only your monologue!
This means that you should know what you’re going to say and practice it over and over in order to know how the response will sound when it really counts, in the interview.
If you’re on a long flight, chat pleasantly for a few minutes noting your neighbors body language. After that, take out your book or IPad or watch the in-flight movie. As your flight is preparing to land, tell the person you enjoyed talking to them and would really like to connect again; then offer to exchange business cards.
Next time we’ll talk about following up and moving along in the networking process.
Ever been at a party or a wedding reception and you meet someone new? One of the first questions is “What do you do?” Isn’t that great when you have a cool job that you love. We loving answering that question when we have a great job where we feel some level of excellence in. But what if you’re “between jobs” and someone asks you that question. For example, lets say Jim has recently lost his job and he meets Bill at the bar during a wedding reception. The conversation might go something like this.
Bill: Hi, my name is Bill (offering a hand to shake).
Jim: Hey Bill, I’m Jim. How do you know the happy couple?
Bill: Oh, the groom and I work together. You?
Jim: The bride and my wife went to college together.
Bill: So, what do you do Jim?
Jim: Oh my gosh, look at the time, I need to find my wife.
Obviously Jim didn’t realize that this was a great opportunity to network and build his contact list. Bill just told Jim that he is currently working with the groom. Bill is employed, but Jim has no idea what Bill does. He doesn’t know if Bill’s company is looking for a person with his skills and abilities. Why did Jim shy away and not tell Bill that he was recently let go and that he was looking for new opportunities? There are lots of reasons that range from embarrassment to anger to thinking no one give a darn. Regardless of the reason, Jim missed one heck of an opportunity to network. So how would that conversation go?
Bill: Hi, my name is Bill (offering a hand to shake).
Jim: Hey Bill, I’m Jim. How do you know the happy couple?
Bill: Oh, the groom and I work together. You?
Jim: The bride and my wife went to college together. (Starts thinking, how can I bring up my job search?)
Bill: So, what do you do Jim?
Jim: Well Bill, I’m in transition now and I’m looking for an opportunity where I could work with a team to bring products to market. What do you do?
Bill: I’m the Marketing Manager for XYZ company’s Widget product line. Tell me more about what you did at your last company.
Jim: Gee Bill, I’d love to but I don’t want to take you away from the festivities. How about I set up a meeting with you so I can go over my skills and accomplishments with you and see if you know of anything where they can use someone like me? Do you have a card? When’s a good time to call?
Bill and Jim just met and Bill’s only goal is to make the contact and nothing more. If Jim goes on to pull Bill aside and learn more about his skills and abilities he should go with the flow. But, only if Jim want to continue the conversation. If Bill talks to two or three new contacts at this one party and then follows up with them at a later time, he’s made a great first impression. Additionally, he has also told folks that he was looking for a job without dying of shame. Bill may have just met a new boss or co-worker.
So be prepared with what to say at a party or social event. Smile and make good eye contact when you shake hands. And look for opportunities to share with people that you are conducting a vigorous job search.
Good hunting!
