Monday, June 27, 2011

Practice Makes You Better

Remember the old adage, “Practice makes perfect.” Actually, I’m not a big fan of this statement, instead I would like to change it to: “Practice makes me better and more practice make me even better.” Okay, it’s not as catchy but it is more real. Perfection really isn’t the goal, excellence is!

Everything we do takes practice for us to improve. When we first learned to walk, ride a bicycle and even learn to read, it took practice to become proficient. Artists and athletes know this to be true. How much does Yo Yo Ma practice? Think of all the practice it takes to get to the Olympics. I remember Jerry Seinfeld’s 2002 documentary “Comedian” where he shows the amount of preparation and rehearsal that goes into creating a head-liner stand-up routine.  The film accounts for all the efforts, including the mistakes and bombs, in developing a completely new act from scratch.  It’s not easy and it takes a lot of practice to become good at unfamiliar skills, tasks and behaviors. Seinfeld took about a year to get his act down pat.

It’s not easy, it’s hard, so you’re going to have to work hard... to learn what you need to do to move to the next level. If you’re between jobs or looking to move up in your career, there are a lot of tools you have to develop and become proficient at. For some people saying hi and smiling at strangers is a new behavior. For others, introductions, elevator speeches, scheduling networking meetings and what to say in those meeting are all new and unfamiliar.

I find that when I’m not familiar with a new skill, I make mistakes, fail and sometimes embarrass myself. It’s painful to say the least... however, I’ve never died from making a mistake. For those of you who have to learn new skills, software programs like Microsoft Office, effective business writing, or presentation skills you’re going to meet a lot of frustration in the process of mastery. People will give you feedback that you won’t like hearing. You may even want to quit and give up...

When you hear yourself say something along the lines of: “This is stupid, I’ll never get this.” or “Who am I kidding, this is impossible.” You need to take a big deep breath and say to yourself, “Time to practice, if it’s going to be, it’s up to me. I can do it; this is new and I need more practice, that’s all.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Almost all the Time It's Great Being a Coach

To quote my friend, Terry Sharipo, Ph.D. "It's nice to be a dad.   Almost all the time!"  And, I find this to be true. The times it's not great to be a dad are when you're kids may be in danger, when they are out of our control, when they do things that could put them in harms way. The thought of losing a child is a parents worse fear. 


But, it is the greatest feeling seeing your kids succeed, grow and thrive. The same thing is true in my role as career coach. When my clients are thriving, growing and succeeding; I'm on top of the world. But, when they are struggling, failing and feeling depressed; it's a tough job.


Most of the time it's great being a coach... mostly because I know that beyond the struggles there will be growth, beyond the depression my clients will thrive and out of the failings come success! 


Job lose really SUCKS, (excuse my profaneness) but no one every says, thank goodness I got sacked! Even if you hate your job, no one feels good about being between jobs. But, being a coach and working with hundreds and hundreds of people has afforded me the perspective to know if a client keeps working at what I'm teaching, they'll land a job. I cannot predict when, but I know they'll land.


This is my wish for all you who are not where you want to be in your career. Regardless if you are not employed, under-employed or looking for the next step in your career growth at a company; my you stay positive and believe and work your tail off... and you'll get there!


Happy Father's Day

Monday, June 13, 2011

Words to Grow Your Career


Some words are more than they appear...

A few years ago I was listening to a friend of mine give a presentation. Joe Takash is a motivational speaker and founder of Victory Consulting. Joe describes himself as a Behavior Strategist. He threw out an acronym that night that stuck with me. “SHE is the Key” he said! “Yes, SHE is the Key to making a great first impression.” SHE is an acronym for Smile, Handshake, Eye contact. When you are nervous meeting people for the first time remember SHE is the Key! I’ll never forget it and when I share this little device with friends and clients (always giving Joe the credit, of course) they always comment on just how cool SHE is, and that it works.

I have SHE is the Key on my whiteboard in my office and some of my colleagues thought that they would have some fun and put some other words on the whiteboard and we started creating acronyms from them. The words were:

  • GOLF
  • POTS
  • EARS
  • NOSE
  • TOES
  • FROG
  • LAMP

Out of those we came up with:

Golden Opportunity Looking Forward  or 
Golden Opportunity Leading Forward
Put On The Suit
Enthusiasm + Action + Rapport = Success  or  
Excellent Appearance Reaps Success
Networking Organization Salesmanship Excellence!!!
Totally Open Enthusiasm Sells
Feelings Rock Our Group or 
Foster Relationships & Opportunities Grow!!! 
(You could leap into a Job)
Learn Achieve Master Passion

Looking at the acronyms you quickly realize that they all have a career focus or theme. And a number of our clients told us that they took the messages from the words to heart. For example, one client who doesn’t feel comfortable “dressing up” said that when he saw POTS, he thought it was meant just for him. He put on the suit. He had a great interview because he had his EARS on.

Thanks to my friends and colleagues, without them my job would be much harder and no where as much fun. Blessings to you, Sharon, Ann and Nancy... you're all Gr8!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Advice From Strangers & Friends

In 1937, Simon & Schuster published How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. I really like and recommend this book for everyone to read. In September, 2010, I highlighted How To Win Friends and Influence People when talking about Interviewing. Among other things, Carnegie tells his readers not not to criticize, condemn, or complain, and to give honest and sincere appreciation. So when someone gives you advice, don’t become defensive, and show true appreciation for the advice.

Even if the advice is totally off the wall, idiotic, and absolutely crazy, thank them for their thoughts and move on. I bring up this point because I keep hearing from clients and students that they’ve gotten advice from a friend or stranger and it’s put them into a tail spin. Not a single person reported to me that the advice they got was fantastic, right on, helpful, or life changing!

Pauline Phillips--AKA Abigail Van Buren--died a few years back and Dear Abby was/is a professional and has a support staff, so who is giving you advice? Most advice isn’t all that good, seriously! A lot of people convey conventional wisdom, which doesn’t always live up to its name. So many folks are passing negative comments and de-motivational advice to job seekers. Or they are relating self-serving thoughts that make themselves feel important. Consider the source and the speakers’ agenda when considering their advice.

The negative that is being passed out there is devastating to the people hearing it, not just to their emotions, but also to their activity and job search efforts. So much of this “advice” is couched as “friendly & supportive” and often starts with the words, “Without...,” “You need to be realistic...,” or “Everyone knows...”  I think as a rule of thumb if someone is telling you that they can’t, or you cannot or you have to be realistic, or anything along those lines, they are not trying to help you, they’re trying to make themselves feel better.

There is positive stuff out there too. One client who landed a job recently sent out an email and told her friends and contacts: “For those of you concerned about the economy, don't believe everything you read in the news! I can tell you that many of my friends and I have been receiving interest, phone interviews, in-person interviews, and more over the past several months.” This offered folks some positive and believable encouragement.

So if the advice you’re hearing is uplifting or constructive, think of Dale Carnegie and thank them and then consider the relative value of the comments. If it is not serving your mission, let it pass, no harm is done, you’ve been professional and respectful and remained on the path toward your goals.